i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
