Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
