my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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