just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
