I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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