last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
