Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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