did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
