brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Hippo gnu deer
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Randomize
