I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
