am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
