Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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