id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Do vagina's smell?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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