Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
