The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
