i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The air taste purple.
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