Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
