Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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