your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He? As in you personified your dick?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
