There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
When are your genitals available?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
