dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
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Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
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I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not