New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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