My Higher Power is John Stamos
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
