it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
