He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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