i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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