very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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