Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
