I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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