I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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