i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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