Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I need to sanitize my soul.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
