My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Houston, we have a squirter
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
