Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
