all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
