he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
