Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Is Oprah even human
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
