i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
