Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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