i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize