We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
