Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
