sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
