all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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