Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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