woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
