All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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