you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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