oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
