You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
