: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
