Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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