your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
