Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
