I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
