i permit you to call me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
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i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
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I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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