He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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