someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
