I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
